When I joined Plenty of Fish (POF) in 2016, I paid for several months, and eventually dropped my membership, because I decided it wasn’t worth it. There were not enough choices that came even close to my lifestyle.
Why would a tall, slim vegan that doesn’t drink alcohol, party, travel the world, or do drugs of any kind, doctor prescribed medication or illegal, want to date an overweight, unhealthy, meat eating, party animal with a desire to travel the world?
And why would a rare healthy woman in her fifties or sixties — trust me, there are not that many of them — want to date a man in his seventies no matter how healthy his lifestyle was? A woman that healthy and in great shape probably has her pick of younger men that still look healthy.
Then I paid and joined Match for a few months thinking it would offer a better experience but it didn’t. I dropped out there too.
My third experiment with dating was with eHarmony, but that site also did not match my expectations. Last month, I cancelled my membership so it will not automatically renew. Until later in April 2018, I’m still a paying member of this dating site but then … no more. That will be the end of my “failed” internet dating experiment.
“It’s obvious that no matter how old men are, they go after younger women,” and “The higher a man’s salary, the more women will like him.”
Seriously, many of the profiles of women POF and Match recommended for me had photos of women drinking booze and traveling the world even when they were decades younger than me and not interested in a man my age. Do you have any idea how much it costs to be a global trotting, older tourist supporting a young trophy wife in her forties, fifties or sixties that still craves that life? And imagine her medical costs if she doesn’t have her own medical care?
I do not want to be a younger or older woman’s bank account or credit card generating debt machine.
Then again, maybe this dating experiment failed because I’m too picky. That’s what my former wife said – that I’m too picky. We divorced in 2015 but are still friends. She’s dating again as long as the man she’s dating pays for those meals at expensive restaurants.
Or maybe those experiments at dating failed because I do not want to belong to a religion and most of the profiles of women of all ages all three of the dating sites sent me belonged to religions I wasn’t interested in being part of. I divorced the guilt ridden, always forgiven Catholic religion I was born into back in my twenties and pledged to myself, “Never again!”
I also don’t party, don’t drink, don’t smoke, and I live a strict vegan lifestyle. I think being really healthy is much better than living a fast paced nightclub, cruise ship, globetrotting, theme park lifestyle, and it is obvious that most people at my age are not willing to give up that lifestyle that also often comes with doctor prescribed medications to help mask all the health problems that come with it.
It seems that most women, no matter what their age, dream of an Eat Pray Love lifestyle that most of them can’t afford so they want someone else to pay for it.
I don’t travel a lot because I’ve had my fill of other countries. I’ve been there and done that enough. I still enjoy the occasional causal hike near my house that’s away from the urban sprawl, and there are still a lot of great outdoor locations in the United States and Canada I haven’t visited. I also enjoy working on the house I’m renovating.
There will be no more internet dating sites for me. Was it a waste of money? No, because it was a worthy experience that taught me a lesson. It isn’t easy at my age to find someone I want to be with who wants to be with me too. Then there is the fact, that I do not fake a smile for photographs. My smiles have to be natural and unexpected, and I do smile but not on demand in front of a camera lens.
What I learned? I enjoy my life. I like who I am. I’m okay with living out the rest of my life alone.
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Lloyd Lofthouse is a former U.S. Marine and Vietnam combat veteran with a BA in journalism and an MFA in writing, who taught in the public schools for thirty years (1975 – 2005).
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